More letters to... nouns?

With more apologies to Eugene Mirman. I'm too brain-fried to formulate a real post, but feel like writing something. 

Dear grilled cheese sandwiches,

Holy rhubarb, you are delicious. If I could, I would eat nothing but you but I think that would eventually result in my death from malnutrition. 

With love,

Alex

Dear socks that I knitted myself,

You are quite nice. I was worried you would be all weird/not fit, but I'm quite pleased with you, actually. Although I worry that I will eventually kill you from wearing you too often. Clearly, the solution is to knit myself another pair of socks.

Regards,

Alex

Dear Acne:

What the hell? You never bothered me for the previous 18 years of my life, but now you're all over my face. Not cool.

Sincerely,

Alex

Dear Syntax class:

There are so many things I'd like to tell you. 1) You make sense, but make no sense at all... at the exact same time. 2) People I take you with say the strangest, most mind-bending things during classtime. 3) I am totally screwed if you don't start making tons more sense really, really soon.

Thanks,

Alex

Dear work,

Meh. I'm probably not visiting you enough.

Sorry,

Alex

Dear ghost that I've been told supposedly lives in my room:

Please leave me alone. Seriously. I haven't seen you yet and have no desire to.

Thanks,

Alex